Soccer ace who faced homophobia mentors youth, pushes for equality in sports – San Francisco Bay Times

by John Chen–

“I couldn’t stand being where I was, surrounded by motivated, high-achieving students of the rich and famous who didn’t need me, oppressed by values ​​and religious beliefs that condemned me, and shamed into living a life of lies. pretending to be happy. I came out (of the closet) on March 14, 2015, a special day because I love math and I’m a math teacher, and Pi to four decimal places is 3.1415. There was no planning for it. It was completely random. And for the next few years, I came to San Francisco to teach math and coach soccer to English language learners and teenagers with housing and food issues, which gave me a real sense of purpose and happiness. “
— Matthew Shea

Matthew Shea grew up in Hanover, Massachusetts, about 35 minutes south of Boston. Shea was a football star with a successful competitive playing career short of being a pro. In high school, Shea led his team to its first undefeated season. At Boston University, Shea started every game on a nationally ranked team as a true freshman. In 2012, he won the United States Senior Soccer Association (USASA) National Amateur title with the (Boston) Battery Park Gunners. In San Francisco, Shea won multiple IPlayForSF titles in the premier division with the SF Spikes Soccer Club, a nonprofit community-run soccer club.

Despite his passion and success in football, Shea never set his sights on playing professionally because football had become toxic. Shea explained, “I grew up in a very white, conservative, homophobic environment. An athlete out was non-existent. As a wide-eyed freshman, during one of our first high school practices, one of the upperclassmen used these unforgettable, exact, menacing words: “If we find out you’re gay, we’ll kill you.” From that moment on, I found myself in 100% survival mode.”

Shea continued, “At Boston University, I endured much more homophobia than I could have imagined. I will never forget that fateful day during my freshman season. In the head coach’s office, the assistant coach unblinkingly, aggressively, angrily and purposefully asked me and a teammate if we were gay. Feeling trapped, scared, and intimidated, I blurted out the only response I could muster, a “No!” empathetic! The coach stepped back and said, “Okay! I just wanted to make sure! That moment broke me, confirming that the athletic world I loved so much didn’t love me back. The shame I felt compounded in the following years as I did everything I could to hide my true identity.”

Despite these major setbacks, Shea also had strong positive influences that energized him with a sense of purpose and focus. Shea fondly recalled, “In high school, I looked up to my pre-calculus teacher, Matthew Plummer, who was also my varsity football coach. Mr. Plummer or Coach Plummer brought energy, life and smiles to the classroom and the field. He taught me, coached me, challenged me and inspired me, making a huge difference in my personal, academic and athletic growth. I wanted to be just like him, a teacher who pushes and explores the limitless intellectual potential of young minds and a coach who supports the growth, skills and competitive edge of budding athletes.”

“After college, I pursued a teaching and coaching career and ended up at an elite New England boarding school, Cushing Academy, where I was a house parent (college assistant) to Cyndi Lauper’s son (no introduction needed ), I led a parent-teacher. meeting Harvey Weinstein (disgraced Hollywood mogul) and coaching two of Chris Mullin’s (Golden State Warrior legend and NBA Basketball Hall of Famer) sons.

Shea paused for a moment and shared a touching, but slightly embarrassing, incident at the academy: “My first graduation gift from a student was a Hermes tie. Unfamiliar with the brand, I pronounced it as Greek God and was promptly corrected.”

After a quick chuckle, Shea shared more about his time at Cushing. “Despite working with many respectful, intelligent, talented and hard-working students, the wealth and privilege were clearly there. It’s not a bad thing, just a reality. Because of this very reason, I sometimes felt like my students and football players didn’t need me to succeed. More importantly, I didn’t necessarily feel safe if I wanted to go out. I realized that something had to change if I wanted to be happy, be my true self and grow as a person and as a professional. There is a place where I can safely begin my journey as a gay man, where I am not ashamed, where I am not worried, and where I can motivate and inspire young people to not only be who they are, but who they are becoming can i?”

Shea answered his own questions with a sincere smile: “This place is San Francisco. When Mission High School offered me a teaching position, I jumped at the chance. I understood that the transition would be a great challenge, but I relished the opportunity and great rewards of teaching in an extremely diverse community. Suddenly, many of my students were financially, housing, and food insecure, with backgrounds rooted in diverse cultures rich in traditions with which I was unfamiliar. A lot of them didn’t get much proper support at home.”

Shea enlightened me with some major reality checks of moving from the rich, the powerful and the privileged to a community of families struggling to make ends meet and people whose views and perspectives differ greatly from his own. . “As a white man working in a very non-white school, I had a hard time connecting with my students at first. Classroom management was a big struggle for me. My interactions were different, and my lack of awareness of my students’ struggles and experiences made it difficult for me to be more understanding in moments of bad behavior or acting out. It took a lot of work, patience, and willingness to get to know my students, unlearn many of my personal biases, and gain respect. My work is hard. But I love it because I love teaching and coaching, and most of all, I love my students.”

Life in San Francisco as a gay man, athlete, teacher and coach has rewarded Shea with tremendous interpersonal and cross-cultural growth, community love and acceptance, respect and professional satisfaction. But life in San Francisco is also extremely expensive, and unfortunately, the San Francisco Unified School District (SFUSD) did not have the resources to adequately support its hard-working teachers. Shea made the difficult decision to leave Mission High School and take a teaching and coaching position further south at San Mateo High School.

San Mateo High School presented Shea with a whole new set of challenges. Primarily responsible for teaching algebra to EL (English Learners) students and coaching the ELD (English Language Development) football team, the language barrier created a multitude of communication problems and sometimes humorous calamities. Shea explained, “About 90 percent of my students were Spanish speakers from Central America, primarily Guatemala and El Salvador, who also come from housing and food insecure families. The language barrier, along with financial instability, as well as the disruption of learning in their home countries, has led to both lower academic skills and a lower math base.”

“Over the past five years, I have learned so much from my students, first of all, my Spanish has improved dramatically,” he said. “My greater understanding of different Latino cultures has allowed me to develop a deeper appreciation and love for my students. They have overcome so much to thrive in a new country. They persevered to be strong academically. And they adapted to become an integral part of the community. Watching them improve, grow and achieve each day, little by little, has been the most rewarding and meaningful experience I have ever been a part of. My life now has a purpose and I enjoy walking into the classroom every day, just like Mr. Plummer. I can’t imagine being anywhere else.”

Shea’s success with his students comes from his tireless dedication and tireless efforts to improve to be the best teacher and coach he can be. His journey taught him that “teaching and coaching are very similar.” Shea expanded his view. “While structure and a plan are necessary for every class and practice, most of the gains come from giving students the space to grow and have meaningful conversations and interventions when needed. Connection is everything. Without building trust and respect, there is no learning. For example, at school, I am an openly gay teacher and coach. Although my sexuality is not an issue most of the time, I still occasionally hear homophobic remarks in hallways and classrooms. I am thinking of not only stopping such hurtful language, but having an open dialogue so that students learn to respect our differences. That way, I can prioritize developing confident, independent and caring young men and women who are good at math, good at soccer and (who can) be the best.”

At the end of the day, Shea goes home tired and happy to be making a difference in these young people’s lives. When she wakes up in the morning, Shea is excited to start the day, eager to see her students. Shea shared his goals as a teacher and as a coach. “I want to continue to provide access and provide both a positive and inclusive environment for my students and players to learn and become the best version of themselves. I want them to feel seen and valued and that they have a place here and are valued as part of our diverse community. Ultimately, if I can be a positive influence and help even one closeted athlete feel comfortable and proud, I will have done my job. I would never want any student at our school to feel as hopeless as I did as a teenager.”

John Chen, a UCLA graduate and avid sports fan, has competed and coached tennis, volleyball, softball and soccer teams.

Sports
Posted on August 8, 2024